Real Loss Talk
By Gina S. Jackson
Greetings and welcome to “Real loss Talk” with Grief Specialist Gina Jackson. Every month I will talk about a different topic regarding grief as it relates to death and or a loss. Last month we talked about receiving that unexpected call regarding a death and or a loss and how to address the emotions and feelings that you experienced after receiving the disturbing news about something or someone.
This month we are going to talk about the Myths and Facts associated with Grief. So, let’s talk.
Myth 1 – Time heals all wounds.
This is a myth because time cannot heal the wounds, pain, and sorrow, of grief. You must be honest and address the emotions and feelings associated with grief to begin your healing.
Myth 2 – Replace the loss.
This is a myth because a loss cannot be replaced. You cannot replace a loved one, a child, a pet, a job, or any other loss you have experienced. Every loss is unique and individual to the person who experiences it; therefore, a loss cannot be replaced.
Myth 3 – Grieve alone.
This is a myth because grieving alone is not healthy or normal. Grieving alone can cause emotional distress which could lead to a multitude of unhealthy behaviors, sicknesses, or illness. Having moments and or times of solitude is healthy if it does not become a normal behavior.
Myth 4 – Bury your feelings.
This is a myth because you cannot bury your feelings. A feeling is an emotion, you cannot bury or ignore your feelings. You feel what you feel, and you must be truthful about how you feel before healing can take place.
Myth 5 – Be strong for others.
This is a myth because you cannot be strong for others when you are grieving. Being strong for a griever means you can withstand the pressure of the emotional behavior the griever is in. You cannot take on the weight of someone else’s world and expect to heal from within, you must be honest with yourself.
When we look at the myths of grief, and we say them aloud to ourselves or others, they seem like logical explanations. In fact, our natural emotional state of mind will have us to believe if we apply these myths to our loss, we will feel better. But a myth is nothing more than a myth. Myths are the false ideas and beliefs that we have been taught. We convince ourselves that these myths will make us feel better and or comfort others. Living out a myth at the time of a loss leads to false hope and false hope could lead to self-destructive behaviors.
As an Advanced Grief Recovery Method Specialist, one of our responsibilities is to educate people on the facts of grief vs. the myths of grief as we are taught at the Grief Recovery Method Institute.
Let us talk about a few facts regarding grief.
Fact 1 – Grief by any other name, is still grief.
Fact 2 – Grief is the response to a change in, or end of, any familiar pattern of behaviour.
Fact 3 – Grief is about mixed emotions.
Fact 4 – Grief is the feeling of reaching out for someone who’s always been there for you, only to find that,
when you need them one more time, they’re not there.
Fact 5 – Grief is also the feeling of reaching out for someone who’s never been there for you, only to find
that, when you need them one more time, they’re still not there.
This is your real loss talk, stay tuned for next month’s real loss talk, when we discuss unhelpful and helpful things to say and or do for a griever.
For more information email us at: firstname.lastname@example.org or visit us on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/releasegriefandheal. Services include one-on-one sessions, group and online sessions, and workshops.
These grief series are provided for informational purposes only. It is not intended to replace a consultation with an appropriate certified grief recovery method specialist or a qualified medical or mental health practitioner.